Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Nigel De Jong and Karl Henry: Soulmates in Sickening Brutality?

If you follow the (mis)fortunes of Newcastle United, I believe the title gives some indication to what this article is about. Now, this is not merely a rant-piece against two “footballers” who have given Newcastle United footballers a rough time over the past month.

Everybody knows football is a contact sport. I’m not referring to the American game here, mind you. Association football, or as the Yanks call “soccer” has every bit a rough element to it. However, there have to be lines drawn in sport. When our teenagers and children watch a sport whereby tibias and fibulas being broken are considered by old-school footballers as “part of the game”, you know that something is amiss.

I refer in particular to Nigel De Jong’s horrible tackle on Hatem Ben Arfa (00:39-00:32) in the Premier League match between Manchester City and Newcastle United. As the video clearly shows, De Jong’s right leg goes in behind Ben Arfa’s standing leg- the ball is nowhere in sight. The resulted in a double break of the French’s winger’s left foot. The same left foot that he has been known to produce bits of brilliance and touches of magic.

Ramires was lucky; Hatem Ben Arfa not so



It is a terrible shame for Hatem Ben Arfa, a talented footballer who has scarcely reached his peak. It is very seldom that footballers rejuvenate their careers after breaking two major bones in the leg. For the uninitiated, feel the hardest bone in on your leg below your knee. Yeah, that’s the shinbone. That, and the bone that supports it, were the bones that were broken in Ben Arfa’s leg.

What was equally appalling was the fact that referee Martin Atkinson waved play on after the tackle and told Ben Arfa to get up. Click on the link above and judge for yourselves if the tackle did the warrant a yellow card at the very least from a soft referee.

This has not been the first injury to a professional footballer as a result of Nigel De Jong’s recklessness on the pitch. Stuart Holden and Xabi Alonso were two other victims of De Jong’s unnecessary aggression. At least both referees showed consideration to the health of the stricken footballers by stopping play, something Atkinson failed to do. Even so, both referees Howard Webb and Turkish counterpart Cuneyt Cakir were vilified for their performances.

Let’s bring up the case of Karl Henry now. Karl Henry plays in the same position (defensive midfielder) as Nigel De Jong. Although he’s not as globally well known as the Manchester City hatchet man, Karl Henry learned his trade from the Stoke City School of Hard Knocks under Tony Pulis.

The first of a series of indiscretions by Henry occurred in the match against Newcastle at Molineux. Henry was only booked five minutes from time after a series of persistent tackles on Joey Barton- 7 in total. Half of those tackles were bookable and it amazed me that he was still on the pitch after an hour’s play.


If this can be called challenge... Karl Henry attempts to win the ball from Simon Davies



While the issue of Bobby Zamora’s leg break after Karl Henry’s challenge was a lot more debatable, it can also be argued that Henry himself put too much gusto into the challenge. The tackle on Jordi Gomez (if THAT can be accurately described as a tackle) on the other hand mirrored De Jong’s on Ben Arfa.

The similarities stop there. Karl Henry has sent his sympathies to Zamora for the striker’s broken leg and expressed regret over his lunge on Jordi Gomez. Even the thuggish Ryan Shawcross left the field in tears when he broke Jack Wilshere’s leg last season. As for De Jong, Hatem Ben Arfa has been lying in hospital for a week and has yet to hear from him. As for fracturing Stuart Holden’s leg, De Jong indignantly said that “such offences are part of football”. No compunction whatsoever from him.

Any footballer with a sense of professionalism and decency can understand what a leg or ankle break does to you. With the exception of the gritted Henrik Larsson, there are few footballers (even in today’s age) who have fully recovered from a leg break and Hatem Ben Arfa is only 23.

Bert van Marwijk has criticised Nigel De Jong’s tackle, labeling it as “unacceptable” and that “Nigel has simply gone too far this time”. His proved the integrity of his words by dropping Nigel De Jong from Holland’s Euro 2012 qualifiers. Manchester City’s assistant manager Brian Kidd said post-match that “Nigel is as honest as the day is long”, defending his defensive midfielder. He must be kidding, pardon the pun. Either that or they must have the shortest days in Manchester.

You didn’t get real world class footballers like Paolo Maldini and Bobby Moore, just to name a couple, generating such negative publicity despite being defenders. Even Paul Scholes, who cannot make a clean tackle if all of Manchester United’s trophies depend on it, has never caused an injury to such a severity in his 16 year top flight career. Karl Henry himself said that tackling is an art. Unfortunately it’s one he, De Jong and many “footballers” today have yet to acquire.

To say that hard tackling does not belong in modern football may be a knee-jerk reaction, but the Football Association definitely has to review what actions may be taken should a poorly-timed tackle jeopardise the safety of a footballer. While there are some Match of the Day and talkSPORT pundits (Suffolk drunkard Alan Brazil the most notable of them) who defend the tackles, there has to be an accountability and responsibility to be accepted as a result of this. I quote a Dutch tabloid as well as Marc Duffy:

“That's not the point. If you are driving a new sports car and decide to drive through a village at 200MPH you aren't doing that to deliberately kill a child, but you would be responsible for your actions if that were to happen."




Billy Bremner’s (right) rash tackling often got him into trouble with opponents


The lunges by Karl Henry and De Jong debatably belong in the era of Billy Bremner and Graeme Souness, but even they stood up and were accountable for their actions (for the most part, at least). In that aspect, Nigel De Jong and Martin Atkinson have much to account for.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Orange Craze Footballers

I refer to the Orange Craze Event. The footballers that will be sold as Orange Cards are as follows:



1. Nelson Valdez
On the back of a good World Cup with Paraguay, Nelson Valdez sealed a move from Borussia Dortmund to Hércules. Valdez was superb in his club’s visit to the Nou Camp against Barcelona, scoring a brace and pressuring Piqué and company at every opportunity.

2. Luis Suárez

After a summer of infamy, Luis Suárez has gone back to making the headlines in Holland for all the right reasons- netting against Dynamo Kiev and twice against PAOK to secure Ajax’s progression into the group stage proper. He recently pledged his future to Ajax and the Amsterdam club is sitting pretty at the top of the Eredivisie with a superior goal difference because of him.

3. Paul Scholes

Ahh, good old Scholesy. That fact that he’s 36 in two months’ time and for a midfielder, playing for one of England’s most successful clubs in the top tier of football can be reason enough for his inclusion. However, my selections are based on footballers who’ve performed well over the last month- and Scholes with his orchestra-like conducting of Manchester United’s midfield- has stood out immensely for the Red Devils.

4. Adam Johnson
While Manchester City’s start to the season hasn’t been as scintillating as many optimistic supporters would have expected, Adam Johnson certainly has been, for both club and country. That David Silva, City’s most prolific signing of the summer has been kept on the bench owes not to the Spaniard’s lack of class, but the purple patch Johnson is having.



5. Isaac Vorsah
Big, tall and muscular, Isaac Vorsah has been at the heart of everything good about TSG Hoffenheim’s brilliant start to the season. The Ghanian centre-half scored the winner against St. Pauli and helped his team to a clean sheet against a Schalke 04 side containing Raúl and Klaas-Jan Huntelaar.

6. Lewis Holtby
To the North-west of Hoffenheim, another Bundesliga team is currently enjoying their perfect start to the season. FSV Mainz, with a smaller home ground than Wigan’s DW stadium, is nine places above Bayern Munch in the table (albeit with only three games played). 19 year old Lewis Holtby has been in inspired form, with the top number of assists so far in the Bundesliga.

7. Artjoms Rudņevs
His name may not be easy to pronounce, but remember it! Artjoms Rudņevs has been scoring goals for fun- with four goals in five consecutive matches the last month. He saved his best against Juventus in the Europa League, calmly slotting past experienced Alex Manninger for the opening penalty and an absolute peach of a strike from 35 yards out to ensure the Old Lady shared the spoils with Lech Poznań. Newcastle, please sign him up!

8. Michael Essien

Chelsea fans have not see Michael Essien since the start of this year. Chelsea may not have missed him due to the strength of their squad, but Ghana did in the World Cup. Essien has started every single Chelsea match- winning every single one of them. While the champions have been exceptionally impressive with their glut of goals, Essien has been providing all the drive and energy from midfield. The former African Footballer of the Year and Chelsea Player of the Year has been the base in midfield from which Chelsea have been dominating games.





9. Madjid Bougherra

Chalking up wins at home to St. Johnstone and Kilmarnock may equate to performances to be proud of, but as the saying goes- you can only beat what’s in front of you. While Rangers didn’t come close to winning the “Battle of Britain” with Manchester United, they didn’t come anywhere close to losing it either- thanks to resolute defending from the Algerian international.

10. Gareth Bale

What a revelation Gareth Bale has been. In Tottenham’s games against Stoke and Manchester City, Bale exemplified the perfect blend between defensive solidarity and a winger’s finesse and skill. He constantly tracked back to aid the clueless Assou-Ekoto against Shaun Wright-Phillips and was instrumental in Stoke’s defeat- what a sweet volley that was!

11. Hakan Yakin

Veteran Hakan Yakin has been in evergreen form for FC Lucerne, especially in the 4-1 victory over title favourites FC Basel at St. Jakob’s Park. Yakin was at the heart of everything good in Lucerne’s attacks, netting a brace for himself as well. His season so far has reached new heights with the recent 6-2 trouncing of Bellinoza. The supporter’s favourite crafted exquisite chances for his team mates and was the man of the match.

12. Luke Varney

Luke Varney turns 28 in less than a fortnight’s time, yet his name was an unknown in the top flight less than a month ago. The Leicester local has taken the huge step up to the Premier League in some style, scoring against Fulham on his first appearance and making a good nuisance of himself on his second.



13. Marouane Chamakh

Another typical example of an Arsene Wneger import, Marouane Chamakh was turning heads in Europe’s elite during his time at Bordeaux. Chamakh enjoyed a good debut against Liverpool and has been finding the net in the last three consecutive games for Arsenal- against Braga, Bolton and Blackpool.

14. Éver Banega

They may be facing a financial turmoil, staring at an alleged mountain of debts, but Valencia has shown no signs of missing star players David Villa and David Silva. Young Éver Banega has superbly stepped up this season- he has been the mainstay of the team’s midfield and his brilliant vision has been behind half of Valencia’s goals at present.

15. Joaquín

Another catalyst to Valencia’s great start to the season has been Joaquín. Joaquín has been incisively instrumental in all of Valencia’s victories to date. His brace against Málaga on the opening day of the season to bag all three points was vital in keeping the fans on the player’s side. Unai Emery has a habit of rotating his wingers, but Joaquín’s consistency has given his manager a good selection headache.

16. Ricardo Carvalho

Since his days with FC Porto, few footballers have played more frequently under José Mourinho than Portuguese centre-back Ricardo Carvalho. There is an undeniable mutual understanding and respect between both men; evidenced by the surplus of £20 million that Mourinho has spent on Carvalho, bringing him to Chelsea and now to Real Madrid. His favourite stalwart has repaid Mourinho’s faith- earning him his first win as manager of Los Merengues. It comes as little surprise that a Real Madrid side with Carvalho at its heart has not conceded a goal since the start of the season.


17. Lionel Messi

Is it any surprise, really, that the Argentine wonder kid is in the list? Yes, he played in Barcelona’s home loss to Hércules, but Lionel Messi more than made up for his subdued performance four days later in the Champions League against Panathinaikos, scoring two and creating two more against the hapless Greeks. It was Messi’s inspired partnership with Carlos Tevez that tore world champions Spain aprt in the 4-1 victory for Argentina as well.

18. Ashley Cole

He may be disliked by the neutrals and may have just lost his gorgeous wife, but Ashley Cole’s contribution to Chelsea’s flawless start to the season cannot be overlooked. It’s true that the fixture list has thrown up a very good starting list for the Blues and Ashley Cole has made short work of the right backs unfortunate enough to face him. He has been covering the length of the field, whipping in crosses and even coming close to scoring on several occasions. While in his half of the field, few wingers get any change out of him even of they can match his pace.

19. Antonio López

Atlético Madrid’s one-club man, Antonio López has been characteristically reliable for his club. The captain has been charismatic form against Athletic Bilbao and Sporting Gijon, defending his flank resolutely and closing down opponents well.

20. Steve von Bergen

Cesena has been a revelation in the opening matches of the Italian Serie A. The newly promoted team have not conceded a single goal so far; the entire team has been displaying an amazing level of discipline and organisation. This is all the more impressive given that their first two games have been AS Roma at the Stadio Olimpico and AC Milan at home. Von Bergen has been immense for Cesena in these matches.

21. Yuto Nagatomo

On loan from FC Tokyo, Yuto Nagatomo has been another reason for Cesena’s dream start to the season. The Japanese international kept the experienced duo of Mirko Vucinic and Francesco Totti on their toes throughout Cesena’s opening game against Roma. He proved it wasn’t a one- off display of defensive class when he put in another solid performance against Pato, Ronaldinho and Zlatan Ibrahimović.

22. Sergio Pellissier

Chievo Verona’s veteran striker has cemented his place as a favourite amongst the Mussi Volanti in recent years. Pellissier’s goals brought jubilation to the small Italian town of Verona when they were promoted two years ago and his goals kept them in the Serie A the year after. The Chievo captain is still leading by example, with strong performances against Genoa and Catania.

23. Nikolay Mihaylov

Liverpool fans, who are, well, genuine fans, will remember Nikolay Mihaylov, the Bulgarian reserve goalkeeper whose life was endangered by Bulgarian mafias. Of more importance is the fact that Mihaylov, once third choice at Anfield, has been a vital component in the Dutch champions’ stubborn defence. Scousers may look back in regret now- Mihaylov has conceded just one measly goal in 450 minutes of game time for FC Twent, a better record than Chelsea’s Petr Cech!

24. Hulk

I wrote an article a few months back regarding Porto’s own version of the pulp fiction Jekyll and Hyde Hulk. Porto has won seven matches on the bounce- a perfect start to the season- thanks to goals from Hulk. Hulk has been consistently scoring goals in the Portuguese Liga and is the current top scorer in the division. He has been an absolute handful in the Europa League as well, his using his strength to unnerve defenders and netting a fine hat-trick against Racing Genk.

25. Dimitri Payet

Saint-Étienne seem to have a knack for unearthing wonderful French talent. The latest star to come from the ranks of the current Ligue 1 leaders is Dimitri Payet. Extremely clinical and with a superb eye for goal for a midfielder, Payet has already knocked in six goals in six games, including a hat-trick against Lens and a brace against Montpellier.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

FIFA Online 2’s Community-Organised LAN Battle

I read an article in the local papers not too long ago describing how there is a marked lack of creativity in Singapore’s Arts scene due to the spoilt nature of the younger generation. The article then cites incidents of how Singaporeans aged 13-24 possess a tendency to expect the things they want to be instantly accessible to them. An NUH psychologist backed this up with studies of the psyche: “it’s natural”, she said “that Singaporean teenagers have less patience and are less innovative in today’s day and age.” “Because they are brought up with everything they need simply given to them, they lack the initiative and drive to think of solutions for themselves.”

I have the perfect rebuttal for that, miss 50 something year old shrink whose name I can’t remember. My FIFA Online 2 community!

In what was the perfect antidote for everyone’s stress over the prelims and upcoming examinations, Clarence and RanieYang organised a LAN Battle at GrandLink Square!

I was very impressed when I saw the prizes:

Two +8 Cards for the third placed participant, (the +8 player apparently coming from a major football league)

One +8 Card and a Gold Card for the second placed participant, and the winner taking home both the prizes below.


I think both cards are pretty good. DidierDeschamp and HammerS were bickering over the Park Joo Young Card a week before the tournament already.

The cherry on the cake by our two enterprising organisers for all participants was the free door gift for all participants and a lucky draw with the following prizes:

Steven Gerrard
+9 Gold Cards
Legendary Cards
“Tons of LP”

I reached Grandlink Square close to lunchtime. The LAN shop was pretty cramped, but the community was already busy playing for their Gold Cards. Buzzed, tsuna and the regulars were there- but there were notable absentees. Moneh, Sousuke, MoneyDluffy, baberinium and rooneyrock were either busy with school prelim preparations or university projects. Despite that, the response rate of more than 30 participants excluding spectators was a very encouraging sight.








The LAN Shop @ Grandlink Square: packed full of FIFA Online 2 Gamers

The aftermath: Milodinosaur beat the LAN Battle’s dark horse, Hullrocks in the finals to grab two Gold Cards and further strengthen his already IMBA team. Hullrocks was cheered on by the Suresh-BladyBager siblings on the way to the finals. The LAN Battle’s favourite, ZzSleepzZ, was eliminated in the semi-finals on away goals to Milodinosaur.


What was most encouraging about the LAN Battle was the response from the community. The LAN Battle thread was the most highly viewed thread for three weeks leading up to the event. The participants themselves were well-versed with FIFA tournament rules and there was no need for the organisers to step in to intervene as there were no disputes.


Despite the fact that the LAN Battle was held in the middle of the exam preparation period across all schools and tiers of education, there were still plenty of gamers who made their way down. Special mention must also go to RainieYang and Clarence for their success in planning and executing the LAN Battle despite the limited resources at their disposal.

































Monday, August 30, 2010

Statement from the Chief Executive, Aston Villa FC

You all know the fracas going on at Aston Villa right? How they ******ed Martin O'Neil up the arse over James Milner? Well, Paul Faulkner, the CEO has released a statement on the official Villa website with regards to how their season has panned out so far. I've changed/edited it to depict the situation with more clarity as the Villans see it (I've been trawling their message boards) my words in italics and red. Enjoy!



Statement from Paul F****ner on behalf of ArseF*****ed Villa Football Club.

29th Aug 2010

Following the departure of our manager on August 9, the Club was left with very little time to react and to prepare for our opening fixtures, which means we were scoffing pies down at St. Andrews and chow mien at the Dragon Dragon Chinese takeaway while the rest of the Premier League was doing pre-season training. Maybe that's why John Carew looked 10 stone heavier when he missed his penalty. All food and no training makes John a fat boy. Oh yes, it was all the fault of big, bad Martin O’Neil!

Our first order of business, looking immediately ahead to our games against West Ham (3-0, a good start to the season) Rapid Vienna (out of Europe by the same Austrian minnows as last year, and coming undone by a certain Ardhe Nuhiu), Newcastle (I won’t even begin to write about this) and Everton, was to ask Kevin MacDonald to step in as caretaker manager. Oh yes, he’s going to do a great job of it, we're sure.


Kevin has been with Villa for a period stretching back over 15 years, has thorough knowledge of our first team, reserves and youth Academy players, as well as strong and well-established working relationships with other key members of our coaching staff.


As such, we felt he would provide a critical degree of stability and continuity in a turbulent period and give the team the best opportunity to succeed in these early games, despite the fact that in all his 15 years of sterling service he was not once considered for the job of Villa manager. (Even David O’Dreary got the job and that’s saying something!)


Kevin, Tony McAndrew and many other long-serving members of our Club have stepped up selflessly to be sacrificial goats at St. James’ Park and took a right tonking without hesitation to Newcastle, which was the task at hand and for this all Geordies owe them a huge debt of gratitude.


We are conscious that we have steered clear of openly communicating our thoughts on the search for a permanent manager until this time, cause we’re skint- hence selling James Milner and pissing ONeil off- as we felt that to do so would undermine both Kevin's and the players' efforts to focus on preparing for these games. Really, we don’t want them to know Mr. Lerner has spunked the Milner dosh in attempting to get Bruce Arena, Bob Bradley and more Yanks to teach the Villa players how to play “soccer”.


To date, we have immersed ourselves in the process of appointing a new manager and clearly identifying the key criteria this person must meet.


Two of the traits we believe are of crucial importance are that candidates have experience of managing in the Premier League and a strategy for building on the existing strengths in our current squad. (Lol, I take it they won’t consider Diego Maradona?)


We have thoroughly researched potential candidates and have reached out to a variety of contacts we have within the game for advice and guidance, as well as keeping key staff at Villa Park informed and focused. We really have no idea where Stiliyan Petrov, the captain no less, gets off saying he wants some clue as to who’ll be the manager and that he wants some stability. We really don’t!


We will now start the process of interviewing candidates we believe meet the key criteria required to manage Aston Villa with a view to making an appointment in the near future. We have a whole massive forty-eight hours before the transfer window slams shuts on our brummy butts, no rush at all for the new bloke to come in, identify the players he wants, contact, negotiate, arrange a medical for these players come Wednesday. Nope, no rush at all!


Kevin MacDonald will continue as caretaker manager until that time. Following which he’ll have to piss off back to reserve training or continue taking you, our cherished fans, on a nice roller-coaster ride of emotions due to the unpredictable nature of our results and performances. We’re pretty sure any decision made by Mr. Lerner is entirely for the benefit of Aston Villa FC.


Finally, we wish to make clear that our relative inactivity in the transfer market this window in no way reflects a change in direction or dilution of ambition for the Club, but rather our reluctance to make decisions on players without a permanent manager in place. Hence signing Stephen Ireland to placate you mugs and then take a nice £18m profit in the process, despite not having a manager in place.


We would not expect to make any further statements until such time as we are in position to make a definitive announcement on the managerial situation.


Paul F*****ner

Chief Executive Twat,

ArseF****ed Villa Football Club

Thursday, August 19, 2010

French Comedy at the World Cup: The Aftermath


Is it any surprise, really? From the ineptitude of their preparations and the constant disunity that was prevalent since Les Bleus stepped into the Cape of Good Hope for their opening dour draw with the stubborn Uruguayans to the criticism of L’equipe and the French tabloids back home, 2006’s finalists crumbled internally and came to an undignified capitulation against the spirited South Africans 11 short days later.

The mighty French, World Champions in 1998 and runners-up during the last World Cup, succeeded in one thing in South Africa: an exact replication of their World Cup campaign in 2002 (also on the back of a prior successful World Cup tournament).

If they were toothless against Uruguay, the French let themselves down against the Mexicans and showed a complete absence of professional and national pride against the spirited Bafana-Bafana.

On a sympathetic note, French supporters can point to the intense media pressure as the greatest opponent any National team can face in the World Cup. Fans of the over-rated England team can vouch for that.


The French Team were the bigger clowns than this dejected Les Bleus fan



Observers can point to the following causes for France’s South African soap Opera.
1) Raymond Domenech
2) Announcing Domenech's replacement prior to the World Cup instead of replacing him earlier
3) Not calling up Mexes, Nasri and Benzema (see point #1)
4) Over-reliance on Gourcuff and Ribery, lack of Zidane
5) Le Sulk’s bust-up
6) Cheating- turning the neutrals against them



1. Raymond Domenech

It is a common habit of critics to sharpen their knives and aim them in stabbing motions towards the manager of an under-achieving team, but forgiving neutrals will find it hard to play the role of Devil’s Advocate, in the case of Monsieur Domenech.

Despite six memorable years at the helm of the French hot-seat, the cracks in Domenech’s regime (or head) appeared in the last World Cup. Amidst bust-ups with senior players and questionable call-ups, France’s saving grace four years ago was Domenech’s success in luring old veterans such as Lillian Thuram, Zinedine Zidane and Patrick Vieira out of international retirement.

Domenech was also a coach who made puzzling decisions and attracted publicity for all the wrong reasons; proposing to his girlfriend on National TV in the wake of France’s dreadful Euro campaign and calling up footballers based on their horoscopes/star signs are two more notable examples.

Raymond Domenech has his face firmly planted in his hands as France exit in embarrassing fashion




2. Announcing Domenech’s replacement before the World Cup

By announcing to the public that Raymond Domenech’s contract would not be extended beyond the 2010 World Cup prior to the tournament, the French Football Federation, or Fédération Française de Football shot themselves in the proverbial foot. They gave Domenech’s detractors within the Les Bleus camp the perfect foil to Doemench’s authority and respect. Imagine if you worked for a boss you (and just about everyone else) really, really disliked and it was a cast-iron certainty that he would be sacked by your company’s board of directors in a week’s time. Would you give him hell? I sure would! Apply this concept to the proceedings in South Africa and you will have a clearer idea of the turmoil within the French camp back in June.


3. Absence of players who may have made a difference from the World Cup

The names Lassana Diarra, Karim Benzema, Samir Nasri, Hatem Ben Arfa, Mathieu Flamini and Phillipe Mexès have a familiar rhyme to them: all missing in action in the World Cup 2010. While Lassana Diarra was unfortunately taken ill in one of the final built-up matches to the World Cup, but his other compatriots as listed above were overlooked by Domenech. One can always speculate as to whether the presence of Phillipe Mexès would have kept Eric Abidal from playing out of position against Mexico. Fans wondered if Samir Nasri and Hatem Ben Arfa would have found a way past a stubborn Uruguayan defence. It has long been rendered academic in any case; six players in the prime of their career could not be part of France’s World Cup campaign due to their absences for one reason or another.


4. Limited creativity in the team
Florent Malouda aside, France’s attacking midfielders were flat and disappointing. The two biggest culprits were Yoann Gourcuff and Franck Ribery. Ribery failed to deliver on the back of allegations of his soliciting the services of an under aged prostitute. It is damning on France that Gourcuff’s most notable contribution to France in the World Cup was his sending off against South Africa in their last game of the group stage. It ensured an early exit for Domenech’s men.



Djibril Cisse reacts in horror as Gourcuff sees red

5. Nicolas Anelka’s temper tantrum
“Va te faire enculer, sale fils de pute !” I shan’t translate the French as I’ll have to censor half of Anelka’s quote anyway, but Le Sulk’s outburst at his coach (on his first appearance in a World Cup, no less) is as good as summary of the farcical French as any. The rest, as they say is history. The team’s refusal to train for their final match followed- numerous suspensions and disciplinary actions were and are still being dispensed to the French brats and Indian Chief Le Sulk. Everyone knew Domenech was clueless, but for Anelka to actually say what everyone was thinking- in the most unflattering manner- was the perfect example of a spoilt footballer throwing his toys out of the pram.


6. The Hand of Frog and French unpopularity
Yes, the issue is one that has been regurgitated and cited like an old record by the media, but a consequence of France’s cheating in the World Cup Qualifying against the Republic of Ireland was that the team and Domenech’s regime lost the support of many neutrals and more importantly, their own fans as well. As the West German team and Harald Schumacher will testify, notoriety on the field does affect public opinion. There were cheers all around in Dublin pubs when France capitulated in all their matches. South Africans who were watching Uruguay-France at the Cape Town Stadium were cheering on the South Americans; a country haunted by apartheid would scarcely throw in their support with a European nation known for colonialism in Africa.
The good news for French football is that despite the many flaws in the FFF and the previous football set-up, their fans have a new beginning to look forward to in Laurent Blanc and a team with players like Guillaume Hoarau, Bafetimbi Gomis, Jimmy Briand, Loïc Rémy and the hilariously-named Rod Fanni knocking on their doors.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Support Your Representatives!

Malaysian and Singaporean FOL2-ers! Here are profiles of your country's champions. They are the lucky winners who will be representing Malaysia and Singapore in this year's Hyundai Motor Cup!




Name: Alvin Ang


Manager Name: ZzSleepzZ

Favourite Team: Arsenal

Representing: Singapore

Notable Achievements: Sawadee Cup Champion, Score with nEbO Champion

It’s a rainy June afternoon and I’m receiving a phone call I’ve completely forgotten to expect. It’s a week and a half since Senior Manager of nEbO David Kuan handed Alvin (aka ZzSleepzZ) the much coveted boarding pass to Korea to represent Singapore. He sports a maroon Ribena-coloured Arsenal tracksuit. Since I first played football with him being the goalie those months ago in Bishan, this kid has matured. He’s Singapore’s best in FIFA Online 2 and he knows the expectancy on his shoulders. We’re having iced latte in the refreshing summer rain as he reveals the secrets of his success as well as his involvement in pioneer FIFA Online 2 gaming clans to me.




ZzSleepzZ (centre) with his boarding pass. ZendenZ and myself want to “chong kong” it while he’s not looking.






Me: Congratulations on your win! It was a massive day, with a massive audience and a massive prize. How did you deal with all these factors en-route to the final?


ZzSleepzZ: Haha, I don’t usually take a lot of preparation before that because I’ve gotten used to a competitive environment like this. It’s good to have experience in competing in tournaments because you learn from everyone. I learnt a lot from the Sawadee Cup even though I won.


Me: How do you train? Would you like to reveal some of your training secrets for me?


ZzSleepzZ: Nothing really complex. I actually spend most of my training in the iCafe at Funan with my clan members. I owe much of my success to them as well. I had many hours to train because we have stuck together as a united group since the game was launched.


Me: Do you prefer to train alone with strangers or with people you know?


ZzSleepzZ: My personal experience from playing against strangers is that they are pretty one-dimensional, especially on World Tour. Playing with friends in person is a lot more enjoyable because there is less latency between us and they have experience in tournaments as well so they are of a better standard.


Me: Have you started your training for the Hyundai Motor Cup?


ZzSleepzZ: Of course! I’m already training now, although not excessively. I’m not mentally prepared for playing long hours and it’s physically tiring. Furthermore, it’s the World Cup period now.


Me: Tell us more about your clan. Who are the members? Are there any well known members of our community in it?


ZzSleepzZ: Yes, there are a few. MiLODiNOsAuR, suresh, rooneymanu, Clarence and joybaby, who is the founder of our clan, Steps Gaming Clan. We just started out recently and will be holding recruitment drives frequently to expand our clan. Suresh beat Sousuke in our last LAN battle to quality as a clan member.


Me: Whose brainchild is this? Tell us more about how your clan operates.


ZzSleepzZ: It was actually the idea of “joybaby”. He is the clan manager. We are looking for sponsorships and joybaby is currently in talks with potential sponsors. We need sponsors to help in our funding for international representations and training sessions. What we offer in return is publicity for our sponsors and brand awareness. One of our goals is to nurture Singaporean gamers into a professional stable of top-notch gamers.


Me: Are there any rival clans in Singapore that could pose a challenge to the development of Steps Gaming?


ZzSleepzZ: I think clan Xtc. is very established in Singapore. They have big names like “Zarate”, “Blitzrooney” and “ronnywilkinson” in their roster.


Me: What role/capacity do you see yourself in the future with Steps Gaming Clan?


ZzSleepzZ: I can’t say for sure, but what I am certain of is that I want to be a part of this gaming clan’s growth into a major gaming powerhouse. However, this depends on the budget we can acquire from potential sponsors. Gaming as a profession in Singapore isn’t an easy path to follow.


Name: Vincent Chew


Manager Name: TtwoWInDsVin


Representing: Malaysia


Favourite Team: Manchester United


Notable Achievements: Score with SMM Champion, World Cyber Games (Malaysia) Champion






TtwoWInDsVin (second from the left) collects his boarding pass to Korea!

I last saw Vin in FTZ Asia, when he was a surprise elimination from the Malaysian Sawadee Cup. He showed all the hallmarks of a professional gamer at the very peak of his prowess: The steely determination in his eyes and the note-taking as he jots down the strengths and weaknesses of his opponents. I was very impressed at his skill with the gamepad and his calm reserve despite the highly charged atmosphere he was competing in. The 25 year old is well established in Malaysia’s FIFA Online 2 community and his recent victory in the Hyundai Motor Cup qualifiers has cemented his reputation as one of Malaysia’s best. Here’s an excerpt of my conversation with him:

Me: What’s the key ingredient to being a successful and respected gamer like yourself?


Vin: I feel that it’s important to share new skills and communicate well with fellow gamers. I normally meet up and share tips on FIFA Online 2 with my friends who play. We learn faster that way.


Me: How do you arrange your training sessions?


Vin: Since we live in different states of Malaysia, I usually communicate online with my friends for a friendly game. I usually play against opponents I know who have had experiences in competitive tournaments and LAN battles, though. I tend to improve my style of play when I play against these players.


Me: As a veteran competitive gamer, how do you rate the FIFA Online 2 tournament scene in Malaysia?


Vin: I think it’s better to hold qualifiers in different states in Malaysia. I would like to see more tournaments in Malaysia.


Me: How do you improve your game-play? Is there a secret formula to your success?


Vin: I improve by watching my opponents and others play. I learn what I can from their best moves and formations. After observing them, I try my best to emulate and apply it to my own game-play. It’s definitely better to play against a real opponent than the computer. The computer’s moves are very predictable and it’s easy to second-guess a computer. I also believe that success is 30% luck and 70% skill.


Me: Do you have any habits or “good-luck” rituals that you practice before a competition?


Vin: I take a shit before I play. It helps me cope with stress. (LOL) I practice early in the morning to get my mind in the groove for FIFA. Of course, I sleep early the night before to ensure that I’m sufficiently rested. I practice all my best moves before the competition. The timing of the pass, tackle and shot is very important and can be the difference between success and victory. There are also tactics like asking a fellow professional gamer to “scout” out my next opponent for me so that I will know his strengths and weaknesses when I play against him. Another thing I do during the tournament is to allow my opponent to watch the goal replay. It gives me a break to relax while it frustrates my opponent. I also make use of game pauses to rest.

Remember to give your representatives all the moral support, lads! Train with them, wish them well and they could be the ones putting your country on the global FIFA Online 2 map.





Monday, May 17, 2010

Liverpool and Lazio: Optimistic defeatism?

This was a season in which Inter Milan and Chelsea won the Serie A and the Premier League title with perhaps a little more than a helping hand from the opponents they faced.

Liverpool were chasing the fading promises of Rafa Benitez’s desperate assurances of 4th place in the Premiership but in the unsightly parts of the North East in Sunderland, Manchester United was chasing a record that would eclipse the Liverpudlian highs from the times of Bob Paisley. Had Manchester United remarkably won the title this season, Liverpool’s record tally of 18 will no longer stand as the most number of titles won in the top tier of English football. Furthermore, the Red Devils retaining the crown this season would mean that they would have been the first English team to win titles in four consecutive years.

Liverpool fans show their approval for Chelsea to beat them, potentially denying their rivals Man Utd a record 4th consecutive and overall 19th league title. The loss also puts an end to any hopes of Liverpool playing in the Champions League next season.
What is most galling about this defeat for Liverpool fans who genuinely wanted their team to win and for the millions of Manchester United fans watching was the fact that Liverpool were giving Chelsea a good run for their money. That was for the better part of the first half an hour of a memorable match. Memorable mainly because a few minutes after that, Kop captain Stevie G seemed to think “oh my, my team mates actually seem to be trying hard. This can’t do. We must lose to Chelsea so that Manchester United will not be able to break the record.” At least, that is the school of thought that most conspiracy theorists as well as a lot of disgruntled Mancunians are subscribing to. This video certainly puts him in a bad light. Notice how far up-field Gerrard is: Midfielders certainly do not attempt back passes from such positions, certainly not a world class one like Steven Gerrard.
On Lazio's part, the stakes for defeat to Inter Milan were much higher.
It is one of football’s ineffable mysteries; the fixture list generated randomly at the start of the season tends to throw some of the most mouth-watering fixtures during the most memorable periods of the year. As fate would have it, Lazio’s horrible form this season is keeping the team on course for their worst finish in the Serie A since Paolo Di Canio’s last season with the Biancoceleste. Despite staring down the abyss of relegation with three games remaining, many Lazio fans were more than content for their team to lose to the visiting Nerazzuri, with Inter Milan leading Roma in the chase for this season’s scudetto by a slim margin of two points. The rivalry between the two Roman teams are so great, Lazio footballers were actually threatened by their own fans prior to the match with Inter. “if you beat them (Inter) we will beat YOU up.”
American writer Elizabeth Gilbert describes her experience with fans of Lazio during her stay in Rome:

There are two soccer teams in Rome—Lazio and Roma. The rivalry between the teams and their fans is immense, and can divide otherwise happy families and peaceful neighborhoods into civil war zones. It’s important that you choose early in life whether you are a Lazio fan or a Roma fan, because this will determine, to a large part, whom you hang out with every Sunday afternoon for the rest of time.

A Lazio fan actually told her that:

“We can change our wives,” he said. “We can change our jobs, our rationalities and even our religions, but we can never change our team.”

And this being written by an author who by her own confession, “doesn’t know much about soccer”. Well, if she’s referring to the sport as “soccer”, she certainly doesn’t. That Lazio offered so little in attacking options against Inter Milan last weekend gives greater credence to the above observations. It was more damning, (or encouraging depending on one’s perspective) that there were resounding cheers from the Curva Nord section of the Stadio Olimpico- where Lazio Ultras and radical fans sit- when Walter Samuel and Thiago Motta scored.

What bearing then, does the behavior of the Romans and Scousers reflect on the nature of the game? Both sides of the coin contain issues that will shake the foundation of football, yet these same issues are part of the very make-up of football culture.

Rosella Sensi, Roma’s president, described the Serie A as a “paradox” following Lazio’s meek surrender to Inter Milan. Roma director Gian Paolo Montali had stronger words: “it was not only Lazio who lost, but also Italian football."

Liverpool supporters must certainly be questioning the repercussions of their “Cockney for a day” banner. Star striker Fernando Torres has been cited in the Daily Mail regarding one of his reasons for leaving former club Atletico Madrid:

“'At all clubs, the fans really hate their rivals and keep an eye on their results. But one of the problems we always had at Atletico was that the fans were too focused on Real Madrid; that was symbolic of our bad times.'

'When you're not achieving anything, you focus on your rivals and hope they lose. But you reach the point where you think it's time we looked at our results and left Real Madrid alone.'

'If your fans want you to lose, it's a sign that your team has nothing to play for. And when that dawns on you, it hurts.’”

What did Liverpool have to play for in their last home game of the season? No titles, no great accolades for a farce of a season, but professional pride for the individual footballers and Liverpool Football Club as a whole. What must Torres have been thinking as he shook his head in dismay at Steven Gerrard’s wayward back-pass?
Does Torres’ wry smile give an indication of his feelings towards Liverpool’s ignominious defeat?


Similarly, Alex Ferguson was not pleased about the nature of Liverpool’s defeat. “I just saw it (Gerrard’s fatal back pass). It was a great gift,” the Manchester United gaffer was quoted in the Sun.

As it is, conspiracy theorists and disgruntled Manchester United fans will be bickering about that infamous Gerrard back pass until the start of the World Cup.

In the final analysis, one may point to the failings of both Manchester United and Roma over the course of the season as what ultimately cost them the Premier League and the Serie A. Roma will reflect on the home loss to rock bottom Livorno as well as the number of draws away from home (only 16th placed Catania have drawn more games away) that cost them what would have been the first scudetto in a decade.

For Manchester United, there are many other conjectures for the Red Devils’ failings. They may not have had the luxury of Manchester City’s unlimited riches, but they have the invaluable experience of one of the game’s greatest managers. Berbatov may be a horrible flop, but there was always the option of selling him instead of Carlos Tevez in the summer.

Whether or not those issues were the main cause for Manchester United’s lack of silverware this season (with the exception of the Carling Cup), they do not speak as loudly or as factually damning as the following results: Chelsea 1-0 Manchester United, Manchester United 1-2 Chelsea.

Chelsea won the league by a solitary point. If they had lost both fixtures to Manchester United, the Red Devils would have been Champions by a clear margin of 11 points.

The Lazio and Liverpool fans displayed a complete lack of pride and self-belief in their teams, but with their hated rivals missing out on the scudetto and the Premier League, one might say that the true spirit of football rivalries have won the day and have had a major say in the 09/10 seasons for the Italian Serie A and the Barclays Premier League.